Saturday, June 7, 2008
It was a cold December of 1998 and I was looking forward to my winter break from the University. Finally I could leave Belgrade, which seemed to be gray and not too happy during that winter, but probably not any worse than any other winter for most of the nineties due to wars, sanctions, a sinking economy and who knows what else... I was happy that I had a chance to leave the country and go to Germany for Christmas. My mum and my sister were living there, and things were far happier across the border. Somehow, it was enough to cross the imaginary line between the two countries and just leave it all behind. I was sixteen years old when my parents got divorced in 1993, and as a result my mum and sister left the country and I stayed with my dad in Belgrade, the capital of war-torn Yugoslavia. It was probably not the best solution possible, but it certainly gave me a chance to cross all these borders and to observe life in other places. I was happy that I could meet people with less problems and more optimism about life and the future. Actually, I think it kind of saved me just to know that there is another reality and I was referring to it in my mind as something NORMAL. After the Christmas family reunion I took my mum`s car and headed for Amsterdam for New Year`s Eve. I was about to meet there a friend and a colleague of mine from the University, who is Slovenian, and we were about to help his girlfriend from Ljubljana to shoot a short student film in Holland. I remember that driving a car and crossing the Schengen border from Germany into Holland was quite a different experience for me since there was no regular border crossing, just reducing the speed from 130 to 80 km/h and reading the sign welcoming you into the Netherlands... Nice, I was thinking... Free at last! Despite the fact that all of that was new and so great for me, my mind was somewhere else. The thing is that I was in love with a girl from Belgrade who I met in high school and since it was my first true love, I went absolutely crazy about it. Three weeks in Holland went fast and another couple of weeks even faster in Germany. From time to time I would watch the News saying some stuff about Kosovo, but that was such a low priority on my list that I couldn’t care less. My only concern was to go back to Belgrade and see my girlfriend as soon as possible. The phone bills and basically every-day calling were more and more frustrating not only for me, but also for my mum who was paying the bills, and I finally scheduled my trip back. Kosovo was on the TV more and more, but it didn’t matter as long as I was going to see my girlfriend. When I was flying from the Bonn/Cologne Airport to Budapest, during the flight I think I saw fighter jets flying along our regular civilian flight. There was a snow storm during landing and I remember that it was not so comfortable. At the airport it took longer than usually to get the luggage, actually much longer. The reason for that were big black boxes saying `US Military` that had priority. It didn’t matter, as long as I was going to meet with my high school love... The following weeks in Belgrade passed quickly. Spring was coming and I remember making love often with my girlfriend and that was the only reality I cared about. Sometimes, people would say that we should watch the News and that something is going to happen, but we refused to connect to that and made love even more passionately. Finally, the 24th of March 1999 arrived and I picked her up somewhere in the City and we went to my place. It was a really beautiful day, and when we got to my place I turned up the music really loud and we just made love several times before the phone got to be too annoying and I finally answered it. It was my dad saying: "Hey, the war just started!" I went directly to the window and after pulling the shades up, I could see the flames lighting the early night somewhere in the distance... I think I could feel the heat as well. The music was over and everything went silent. We went silent looking at each other and hearing the sirens warning of another air-raid coming... It turned out that her dad called as well and that he went absolutely mad that she wasn’t at home. All in all, it lasted for 78 days, and soon when it ended our love ended too. We just changed I guess.
Ivan Banasevic, Belgrade, June 2008.
It was a cold December of 1998 and I was looking forward to my winter break from the University. Finally I could leave Belgrade, which seemed to be gray and not too happy during that winter, but probably not any worse than any other winter for most of the nineties due to wars, sanctions, a sinking economy and who knows what else... I was happy that I had a chance to leave the country and go to Germany for Christmas. My mum and my sister were living there, and things were far happier across the border. Somehow, it was enough to cross the imaginary line between the two countries and just leave it all behind. I was sixteen years old when my parents got divorced in 1993, and as a result my mum and sister left the country and I stayed with my dad in Belgrade, the capital of war-torn Yugoslavia. It was probably not the best solution possible, but it certainly gave me a chance to cross all these borders and to observe life in other places. I was happy that I could meet people with less problems and more optimism about life and the future. Actually, I think it kind of saved me just to know that there is another reality and I was referring to it in my mind as something NORMAL. After the Christmas family reunion I took my mum`s car and headed for Amsterdam for New Year`s Eve. I was about to meet there a friend and a colleague of mine from the University, who is Slovenian, and we were about to help his girlfriend from Ljubljana to shoot a short student film in Holland. I remember that driving a car and crossing the Schengen border from Germany into Holland was quite a different experience for me since there was no regular border crossing, just reducing the speed from 130 to 80 km/h and reading the sign welcoming you into the Netherlands... Nice, I was thinking... Free at last! Despite the fact that all of that was new and so great for me, my mind was somewhere else. The thing is that I was in love with a girl from Belgrade who I met in high school and since it was my first true love, I went absolutely crazy about it. Three weeks in Holland went fast and another couple of weeks even faster in Germany. From time to time I would watch the News saying some stuff about Kosovo, but that was such a low priority on my list that I couldn’t care less. My only concern was to go back to Belgrade and see my girlfriend as soon as possible. The phone bills and basically every-day calling were more and more frustrating not only for me, but also for my mum who was paying the bills, and I finally scheduled my trip back. Kosovo was on the TV more and more, but it didn’t matter as long as I was going to see my girlfriend. When I was flying from the Bonn/Cologne Airport to Budapest, during the flight I think I saw fighter jets flying along our regular civilian flight. There was a snow storm during landing and I remember that it was not so comfortable. At the airport it took longer than usually to get the luggage, actually much longer. The reason for that were big black boxes saying `US Military` that had priority. It didn’t matter, as long as I was going to meet with my high school love... The following weeks in Belgrade passed quickly. Spring was coming and I remember making love often with my girlfriend and that was the only reality I cared about. Sometimes, people would say that we should watch the News and that something is going to happen, but we refused to connect to that and made love even more passionately. Finally, the 24th of March 1999 arrived and I picked her up somewhere in the City and we went to my place. It was a really beautiful day, and when we got to my place I turned up the music really loud and we just made love several times before the phone got to be too annoying and I finally answered it. It was my dad saying: "Hey, the war just started!" I went directly to the window and after pulling the shades up, I could see the flames lighting the early night somewhere in the distance... I think I could feel the heat as well. The music was over and everything went silent. We went silent looking at each other and hearing the sirens warning of another air-raid coming... It turned out that her dad called as well and that he went absolutely mad that she wasn’t at home. All in all, it lasted for 78 days, and soon when it ended our love ended too. We just changed I guess.
Ivan Banasevic, Belgrade, June 2008.